As I’ve mentioned before I’m a dedicated night owl, but looking in the mirror tonight at not even 11pm I look wrecked. Last day working outside the house for me, and it was pretty agonizing. I feel worn out by it, though now that I’m pretty much just gonna do as every level of government and medical professional says and stay in my home I feel much more relaxed and that I’m doing my part. I know this might go on for a long time but giving a flip through social media I feel totally overwhelmed by the number of tasks and hobbies and projects and resources and entertainment options and think pieces and online version of in-person events and museum tours and books and audiobooks and so on everyone is posting. It’s cool everyone is so industrious and wants to share things that other people might dig at a time like this (and that everyone is so dedicated to staying in touch… this does make me feel like I’m perhaps a bit more solitary than average than I previously realized…) but honestly, I feel like in my free time I just want to watch a couple old movies I’ve nearly memorized and maybe stare into space for a little while. I’ve had a job where I go to a place to work since I was 15 and aside from one summer working on my MA project (and even then I frequented the library) I’ve never been home full time since I was… what… 3 years old maybe? Yes, I’m inclined to spend lots of time at home, staying up late alone and collaging random things on to other things while the other beings inhabiting this house sleep (partner, furious tortie cat), but being an artistic homebody who likes some alone time is different than trying to spend as much time away from others as possible to prevent a deadly virus from spreading, of course. As I mentioned in my last post I think the best approach for me, when I’m not carrying on with my full time job, will be to do things in moderation. Keep up with art, but also make sure I’m spending some time staring off into space. I might get bored or stir crazy at some point down the line but for now just doing the usual daily stuff and processing the daily local pandemic news feels like enough to keep me occupied. We’ll see how that goes.
As for art, like I said, I’m pretty drained today. Thought about sending out the monthly newsletter with the online stuff people can check out from us but then thought “people seem to have a lot available online to do already” and just wrote this. Will do that another day soon. Thought about writing poems, too tired. Bed before midnight maybe? Weird.