Physical distancing is a strange experience from an arts and crafts and writing perspective for me because usually I have a constant push/pull in my personal time of what I’d like to be doing—arts or other. Other contains a vast array of options—going to grocery stores, cooking, visiting friends, spending time with partner, going to the movies, going to the park, spending time with family, going to shows, going to restaurants, museums, and shops, and on and on. Sometimes I’ll do Other for a long time and long to make time to make stuff. Other times I’ll stay in my pjs until 3pm on a winter Saturday fiddling with some yarn and really wish I’d done Other while the sun was up, or that I’d at least showered. Now, there’s little internal conflict. Aside from watching movies, the one video game I can play, cooking, and board games, making stuff is the only thing to do.
Up until now I’d long for enough time to finish my art in my varied, balanced lifestyle. But having an unbalanced lifestyle foisted on my makes me see how much that blend of things made the time I had more productive and poignant. Without going out to chat with others about making stuff it’s not as fun. Without carving out time to work on stuff I don’t get down to business with the same focus. Without being able to plan to share things with others it’s not quite as fun—I always look forward to sharing things, hoping it’ll spark that moment of connection with another—that lovely moment. And without going out in the world all the stimuli I normally get inspired by isn’t there.
These are all very mild symptoms. I actually feel quite fortunate right now that my personal passions are arts and crafts and writing, rather than things that can only be done in public in large groups. I’ve been working on this and that and have been finding those endeavours pleasant. I’m sure that’s making this time easier for me. Indeed, when considering having to do this for an extended period of time I think I could do so with relatively good humour. But it is teaching me to value times when I don’t have enough time to do a lot of art all the more. To see how all the parts of my life fit together and complement one another. I have a long list of art projects I want to finish, but finishing them won’t complete them. They’re only complete when shared with others. I miss that, sharing my own stuff or getting the chance to see the art of others, hear the readings of others in person, and go to shows. Of course all the online stuff is great, and we’re so fortunate to have so many ways of connecting when we can’t be together. But that in person thing is a special kind of magic that I miss. When we’re back in the world again I think I’ll appreciate all the more the time each component of my life requires, and that time away from art is as big a part of it as the time spent on it. I’ve also learned time is not the issue—indeed there is no issue. Art takes a long time—I suspect a number of the books I have in mind will take many more years yet, maybe decades. These things are lifelong things, being a writer, being an artist. I’ll never finish the list… maybe just add to it as things slowly get crossed off. Which is good. The purpose is just to be—to be self-actualized and to do and share, to keep working and growing and longing. Not to cross of the list and then move on with life. It’s a drive, and not one that would never be satisfied by more time. As long as I am, I’ll be longing to make things. And for as long as I make things, I will want to share them. Looking forward to sharing in person again… one day.